Sunday, July 01, 2007

I will never understand straight men

Last night (being Saturday - yes, I'm a bit behind on my blogging) a friend who I admire for his intellect, humour and emotional intelligence (among other traits) celebrated his forthcoming wedding by holding - in conjunction with his bride-to-be, another friend, whose wit, insight and wickedness I also find delightful - their huck's night, ie a combined bucks and hens night.

In the invitation, said male friend commented that one of the reasons for having a huck's night was because he didn't want to be dragged off to a strip club by his so-called friends.

Why then, did his heterosexual male friends do just that? Why did they not only chose to ignore his stated desires, but also feel the need to publicly humiliate him (the details of which I shall refrain from describing here) by dragging him to a strip club, and subjecting him to the attendent, demeaning, bucks night rituals which are only too well known?

Was it sublimated homosexuality, ie 'we all want to see him with his gear off and this is the only way we can do it without looking like poofters in front of our mates and to ourselves'? Some kind of strange homosocial ritual that a poof like me can't help but see as dripping with homosexual connotations but which is really just some kind of hetero male bonding taken to a farcial extreme?

I don't get it, I really don't. All I know is that regardless of whether the indivudual involved was a male or female friend, bent or straight, what happened last night made me angry, and made me quite sure that whenever friends of mine get married again, what I want to do is celebrate their life and their forthcoming nuptials; not demean, mock and humilate them.

Like the title of this post says, I will never understand straight men. Will someone please explain what I'm evidently not comprehending?

PS - MrBuck or Ms Hen, should you prefer this subject not be discussed in the public realm of the blogosphere, just say the word and I'll delete this post immediately. I'm just confused, is all, and I so needed to vent... Oh, and apart from this glitch in the evening's activities? I so had an excellent time!!!


Casey Bennetto said...

Hey, Mr. Watts, I'll never understand straight men either - and I'm one of them.

I do, however, share your abhorrence for this particular piece of straight male culture, grounded as it is in some reactionary notion of "the last night as a free man" or whatever garbage is used to justify it. I avoid 'em wherever possible.

Quite apart from all the strip-club malarkey and the ridiculous braying machismo that goes along with such events, it's just such utter tosh in this day and age. Many of my male friends' partners are also my friends. There isn't any secret male business that can't be discussed in front of them, disinclined as we are to elbow each other in the ribs and ogle the barmaid's tits, or, y'know, to gather in the den for port and cigars while the ladies nip down to the river and beat the washing on he rocks.

The buck's night just feels like a night where, by agreement, you deliberately don't invite half your friends - an intentionally disrespectful, outdated ritual.

I also want to say: I ain't no par-tay pooper. I appreciate a lasciviously degenerate evening as much as the next fella but, guys, if you can only be degenerate in the hoary old 'approved' fashion, it hardly seems worth it, eh? If you're gonna be twisted, at least make a proper go of it. Otherwise you're just giving deviant behaviour a bad name.

Tim Norton said...

Vent away Mr Richard.
I love you and was so glad you were there. In retrospect, I'm glad you weren't there to see it.

made in melbourne said...

Mr Watts, post away. As we discussed on the evening, I was quite disgusted in the whole thing also; not as a 'girlfriend', but as my fella's best friend... I have absolutely no problem with him going to a strip club - I worked the bar at one for a few months - but I do have a problem with him being forced to do something he emphaticaly explained he DID NOT want to do.
To be honest, it was obvious that the event had nothing to do with his 'bucks' night, and everything to do with his friends ignoring who he fundamentally is. Seeing that kind of disregard because they wanted to see half naked women is an insult to their friendship above all else.
But can I point out, far more importantly, that due in no small part to the company of yourself and others, both of us had a smashing, debauchery filled night we loved. Thank God for friends who honestly care about what you want, not finding an excuse for what they see to be socially acceptable behaviour.


Anonymous said...

i am a straight man. the answer to your question is many men are simply pigs with sub-porcine intelligence. and i think sometimes there is an element of "i wanna have a good look at this guys dick and this is the best way" to it.